Dating agencies are the new uprising opportunity to meet your other half, a modern phenomenon that has made its way to all of us very quickly thanks to the internet. We all want to meet this person, that other half, the true love, the one, Mr. Big or the Megan Fox copy. And why not find the one the new way, the 21st century way?
Time has become a rare good and feelings have as well. We are not willing to spend either of it generously. The only thing we are used to handle with levity is money. So why not invest money in a dating agency that promises to find you the perfect partner in no time. In fact it is very easy and efficient: you load up an advantageous picture, type in some information about your person and answer a questionnaire, seemingly being the scientific formula that is able to evaluate your ideal partner. Time will do the rest. The customer is able to continue his busy life whilst the dating profile is magically working on its own.
So while you are working for instance, your dating profile is viewed, recommended and evaluated. The chances are good that you are coming home to a blinking and beeping profile, offering you several potential perfect partners. Now you are able to find out everything about the interested party. If the person´s appearance suits you, if the interests, attitudes and wishes match, you are supposedly arranging a date. This might save you many bad surprises. You won´t be shocked by the other persons looks. You don´t have to find out over dinner that this person would never live on the countryside, or doesn’t want to have children or has a problem with you smoking. You saved yourself a disappointment.
Although it is no guarantee. One doesn´t have the control about the honesty in which a profile has been filled out. You don´t really know what the other person is looking for precisely. There are many people apparently looking for a serious relationship, even marriage, when in fact all they are trying to achieve is a one-night-stand or mere self-affirmation. Indeed dating agencies offer you services that prove the sincerity of their members. Yet the success is limited, I dare say. To summarise: this way doesn´t save you from being disappointed or played with either. Maybe the possibility to fake intentions or even whole identities is even higher?
On the other side, I have to admit, that it’s an easy and still quite save way to get in touch with people. Imagine you have just ended a long-term relationship and you are scarred and insecure. Perhaps you are introverted and shy and you have difficulties with meeting people in real life, so you find yourself on the save side signing in with a dating agency. It lowers the risks, it allows you to get in touch with your counterpart bit by bit. You are able to control the pace, the subjects, the approximation. You are in fact in control.
On the other side it is common knowledge that you should try to face your fear. It is no solution to hide behind your notebook with your virtual date. All of this is no substitute for real life. No doubt it can be seen as helpful and some people even might have found their perfect partners (we´ll have a closer look at them in some years…), but after all we shouldn´t forget that someone is making money out of your desire to end up in a perfect relationship.
For one thing I doubt that love can be evaluated, that it consists of matching points. I even doubt that there is a perfect partner or the perfect relationship out there- whatevermeans!? The idea of perfection has been put in our minds by the media, by our modern society. Therefore relationships hardly last any longer than the milk we bought today. When there comes the point where it’s not perfect anymore – we conclude: This wasn´t the perfect partner, this wasn´t the perfect relationship, altogether – we give up. Love means to work on a relationship, to survive through differences, conflicts and hard times. Love isn’t perfect.
Consequently the whole idea may be wrong, and it may be wrong that we get along best with the one that shares all our interests. Everyone of us is individual. Some may need a relationship in which they can share every interest with their partner, some might want to have some time off now and then. And what about love at first sight? What about the magical moments you look into some strangers eyes and feel a connection? What about the chemistry between two people? What about smelling someone, touching someone? That inexplicable affection that has nothing to do with a shared interest in the same television program? Are we really willing to give up all that magic?