[Commotion]

You were constant commotion, in my ears, on my skin. Loud, disturbing noise, I tried to understand within. You were hard and heavy, violent and steady. Everything about you was too bad to be true, and I loved it. The way you walked, the way you talked, or rather left talking aside, made me weak, made my heart leak, like a broken vase. Always at night. Because you and I never even existed in the daylight. Words didn´t quite get where they belonged to. Words stopped being important, too. And I was running through every night by your side. Time was fast and confusing, always made me feel like losing my every memory. You were a blur to me. I tried and tried to see, but, oh, just couldn´t shut my eyes. My feet stumbled across empty bottles, cold surreal reality. Ice-blue eyes told me beautiful lies, you, oh so hard, tried to believe yourself. And every single night you and vodka fell into my heart, breaking each single emotion apart. I fell in and out of love, struggling to solve, you and me. It was such an obvious mistake, that I obviously so longed for to make. You were too simple to understand. And to all these shots of night there was no end. It was us in the club, drinking and laughing, kissing non-stop. It was us in the taxi, still with liquor, all around us, all inside us. It was us tumbling across the streets of a hidden town, holding hands. It was me in an angel´s gown. It was your arms in which I drowned. I tried to speak. You tried to keep me, silent and being stunned. Hours and hours floated to another plane called reality, in which I used to get caught again standing beside me. All that was left were your traces on my blue skin and my chapped lips. I was unable to move, to breathe or to think. You sucked every word out of me. I was under your power, and every morning in desperate need of a hot shower, to stop my heart from turning cold, to stop my body from being impurely and getting old. I had gotten lost in a life that wasn´t mine. And every time, we tried to combine, what wasn´t meant to be, we got shocked by its impossibility. I heard you say permanently. So I did as you said, until eventually I lost me. In the end, you tried to control me with your hands. I tried to keep you with words you were incapable to get. And this was our ending, rather violent than each other understanding.

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